In Portugal, Law No. 57/2021 now recognises children and young people up to 18 years of age as victims in their own right when exposed to contexts of domestic violence, rather than being mere bystanders. These children often grow up in a state of permanent alertness, becoming attuned to sounds, movements and mood changes. Some try to protect their siblings, comfort the victim or calm the aggressor, while others express their distress through irritability, aggression, school difficulties, sleep disturbances or physical complaints.
What adults frequently interpret as "bad behaviour" may in reality be a form of survival. A child who cannot concentrate may have spent the night listening to arguments, and a young person who challenges adults may have learned that force is the only way to be heard. Exposure to violence can influence the understanding of love, power and conflict, making some children vulnerable to abusive relationships or leading them to reproduce aggressive behaviours, although there is no inevitable destiny.
Prevention and support are essential to interrupt learned patterns. A protective adult, an attentive school, psychological support and a community that does not dismiss the signs can help the child build relationships based on respect and trust. School, health services, sporting activities and family members can be important spaces for protection, observing and listening without judgment and referring to those who can intervene.
Protecting a child also requires working with the family, supporting the person experiencing violence without blaming them. Intervention must keep the child at the centre, listening to them in an age-appropriate way, and avoid turning them into a messenger or mediator. It is essential to distinguish a parental disagreement from a dynamic of violence that continues to be based on fear and control, even after separation.
